Here are the most full list quotes from Homer Simpson throughout the 25 seasons of The Simpsons.
Common Homeric Phrases
However, inedible items may also be mentioned: “Mmm... organized crime...”, “Mmm... flame-scorched, smoke-smelling hero...”, “Mmm... Rotten fruit.” At the same time, saliva flows from his mouth.
Rare quotes
“I promised a lot, that’s why I’m a good father.”
- I'm sociable. And... a drinker.
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It is stupid to listen to an outside surgeon about how to perform an operation on yourself.
Sometimes, when I’m in bed in the morning, I think that no force will make me get up. After the wet puddle formed under me, the thought of my erroneous judgments begins to creep in to me. - Homer Simpson
I like to watch the process itself, although many prefer to participate in person.
Children are told that success in life can only be achieved through hard work and knowledge. Let's add some exception - the winning lottery numbers are announced on the radio, which fell to the lucky ones, who will now no longer participate in the general queue for happiness and success.
Simpson: Our children think that vampires are real inhabitants of the earth. These characters were invented by storytellers, just like elves, goblins and Eskimos.
An attempt is already a failure, but not torture.
You can be a professional, although there is always a better specialist. There are few of them, but these people exist.
Children are like macaques. Lots of noise - little use.
Statistics count everything literally. 96% of the population does not think so.
Beer is my weakness, like my Achilles heel or my heart.
Continuation beautiful quotes Read G. Simpson on the pages:
I won't lie: being a father isn't easy. Not like a mother.
Trying is the first step to failure.
Look, people always have some statistics for everything. This is known to 14% of the population.
There are no bad donuts.
There's no need to grieve. People die all the time. Who knows, maybe you will wake up dead tomorrow.
Even if you're borrowing something from a neighbor, it's still best to do it under cover of darkness.
You can work several jobs at the same time and still be lazy.
We don't need a psychiatrist. We ourselves know that our child is disabled.
You can be great at something, but there will always be a million people who do it even better.
Simply name your third offspring Child. Believe me, this will save you from unnecessary confusion.
Public transport is for idiots and lesbians.
Understand that there is a little Homer Simpson in all of us.
I have climbed the highest mountains, descended into the lowest valleys. Traveled to Africa and Japan. He even flew into space. But now, without hesitation, I would trade all this for something sweet.
Give a man a fish and he will be fed all day. Teach a person to fish, and he will certainly get hooked on his eyelid or something like that.
Of course, dad did a lot of good in his life, but now he is old, and old people are absolutely useless.
I like the beer to be cold, the TV to be loud, and homosexuals to burn in hell.
My mother once said something that haunts me. She said: Homer, you are a big disappointment. She meant something, God rest her soul.
From now on I will look forward to everything. My God! Tomorrow there will be a special promotion: two piano benches for the price of one! Oh-oh-oh, I wish it were tomorrow!
In France, no one calls me a fat idiot. I'm a foodie here!
Homer: I came here so that they would experiment on me and shock me, and not insult me!
A fool and money are quickly parted. I would pay a lot to anyone who could explain this pattern to me.
You can't fool your own mother. You can't fool her even on the first of April, even if you have an electric fooling chair with you.
If you really want to achieve something in life, you have to work hard at it. And now it’s quiet: the winning lottery numbers are about to be announced.
You can't constantly blame yourself for something. Blame yourself once and move on with your life.
And when will I finally understand that the answers to life's questions are not at the bottom of the bottle. They're on TV!
Tears will not bring the dog back. Unless your tears smell like dog food. So you can sit at home, eating can after can of dog food until your tears begin to smell of it, so that the dog can smell the smell from the street and come back on its own. Or you can just go look for him.
If you get mad at me every time I do something stupid, I'll have to stop doing stupid things!
If you're happy and aware of it, swear.
God bless the atheists!
Life is just a bunch of crap that happens.
Smart Italians? Something is wrong here.
Compromise? The wrong family was attacked!
I am a white male from 18 to 49. And everyone listens to me, no matter what nonsense I say.
You know, guys, you can laugh, but it’s much more pleasant for me to feel the sweet breath of a sleeping wife on my neck than to stuff dollar bills into the thong of some unknown lady.
Kill the boss?! Will my hand rise to fulfill the American dream?
Education won't help me. Every time I remember something, it takes up space, pushing something else out of my brain. Like the time I took a winemaking course and forgot how to drive a car.
Homer: Now the walk is my beer, and health is my hangover!
The facts are absolutely meaningless. Having facts, you can prove any fable!
I won't go to bed with a woman who thinks I'm lazy. If so, let him pull out the sofa in the living room and make the bed. I want to sleep.
It takes two to lie. One lies, the other listens.
I see the smiles of my children. And I understand that they are up to something evil.
You can get a lot of things for free by mentioning it in an interview with a magazine. Cookie Chips Ahoy!
It’s not easy to be torn between a pregnant wife and an unbalanced child, but I still carved out my eight hours in front of the TV.
God can't keep up everywhere, can he?
I think Mr. Smithers (Homer's boss - Esquire) hired me for my ability to motivate. All colleagues say that now they have to work twice as hard!
I get tired of dancing with sexual overtones.
The Simpsons may be shown on a stupid channel, but they show it!
Son, you talk about butt licking like it's something bad.
In sports, the main thing is not winning. The main thing is to get drunk!
The only important thing in life is to be popular.
Ha ha ha! My daughter thinks vampires are real creatures! Yes, they are fictional, like elves, gremlins or Eskimos.
To be loved, you have to be nice to everyone every day. To be hated, you don’t have to strain at all.
God bless the atheists!
No matter how powerful and amazing it is, I will not tolerate attacks even from the ocean!
Radiation only kills those who are afraid of it.
Calm down, don't panic. If anything, I'll make money by selling one of my livers. Both are of no use to me anyway.
A nuclear reactor is like a woman. You just need to read the instructions and press the right button in time.
Children is our future. That's why they must be stopped today.
Beer... My only weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will.
Catholicism has more stupid rules than a video store.
Sometimes I am capable of killing in a fit of anger or to prove that I am right. But I'm not some maniac.
Old people don't need company. They need to be isolated and studied to find out if they contain any substances useful to us.
I don't see any point in leaving the house. We still come back every time.
Women are like beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother to get them.
Let's drink to alcohol - the source and solution to all our problems!
When it comes to compliments, women become irrepressible blood-sucking monsters and demand more, more, and more. But if their desire is satisfied, the payment will be sweet.
My favorite book: So, you decided to voluntarily connect to cable television.
Unguarded breakfast is the sweetest taboo.
All my life I have dreamed of one thing - to achieve all my goals.
My father never believed in me. I will not repeat his mistakes: from today I will be gentler with my son. And tougher with my father.
In my house we obey only the laws of thermodynamics.
Singing is the lowest form of communication.