The ability to take initiative is a very important quality for students of any age and for adults. This indicates independence, strong-willed personality traits, the ability to take responsibility, set goals and achieve them. Initiative will allow a child to achieve high results in learning, and an adult to move up the career ladder. In today's article we will talk in detail about initiative and its advantages, and also consider ways to develop this quality.
What is initiative and what does it give?
Initiative is defined by psychologists as a personality quality, expressed in the internal readiness to set goals and achieve them, to carry out activities to satisfy one’s needs. Outwardly, it is expressed in personal activity and enterprise, in the ability to see both opportunities and difficulties, and accept the latter for the sake of the former.
Contrary to the well-known expression that initiative is punishable, this quality makes it possible to study/work more effectively. The main thing is to show it correctly and appropriately and be able to manage this process. There are 5 components of initiative that are important for its timely manifestation and success:
- Value-semantic. It is expressed in a personal attitude towards initiative, in its evaluation and significance. For example, the attitude “initiative is punishable” carries a negative assessment of this quality, its devaluation.
- Motivational. This is the willingness to take initiative. Those. how inclined the child is to demonstrate enthusiasm and be enterprising.
- Cognitive. We can say that this is an understanding of what initiative is, how and in what cases it can manifest itself, and what consequences it can lead to.
- Behavioral. Implies specific experience in expressing initiative in various life situations.
- Emotionally-volitional. It consists in the student’s regulation of the very process of manifestation of initiative and its result. Those. how fully a person can demonstrate it in a given situation and whether he is ready for further action (for example, a child puts forward the idea of a project at school and is able to take on its implementation).
In order for the initiative to manifest itself fully and not lead to negative results, the presence of each of these components is important. The absence of value-semantic or motivational components will mean an inability to take initiative, an unpreparedness for this, a fear of doing this. The absence of at least one of the last three components will lead to a lack of understanding of this quality, untimely manifestation of it, and inability to cope with the consequences of initiative. For the development of each component, there are tips and recommendations.
Training of value-semantic and motivational components
The main thing is the right motivation...
These two components are closely related and therefore have common recommendations for their development. To train them you need:
- Show your child that there is nothing wrong with initiative. First of all, parents themselves need to abandon the idea that initiative is punishable. Do not condemn this quality shown by others, and if it was expressed inappropriately, then subject it to constructive criticism and explain to the student why in this case the initiative was not needed.
- Explain the value of this quality and its advantages. Tell your student what initiative is and why it is so important. For example, it allows you to express yourself, realize your capabilities, achieve some goals, etc.
- Create an image of an enterprising personality. You can do this by your own example or by the example of some famous person. For example, this could be a child’s idol - a famous athlete, artist, singer, etc. It is important to indicate where and how exactly this quality manifested itself, and what it led to (for example, Bill Gates created a computer project with a graphical interface and took the initiative to showing it to various companies and people involved in this field, which was the first step to his success).
- Teach your child to plan their actions and set goals. A good way is to ask what the student wants and how he plans to achieve it. For example, a child wants to get an A in math. Help him formulate a goal (to improve his knowledge in mathematics), find ways to achieve it (additional independent studies or classes with a tutor) and draw up an action plan (solve math problems every day for two hours, visit a tutor twice a week, etc. .). A similar scheme can be applied to almost any desire or aspiration.
- Encourage initiative in Everyday life and at school. Note each instance of initiative (washing the dishes yourself, volunteering to come to the board, etc.), praise the child for this, emphasizing how well done he is, that he was enterprising and proactive. In addition to verbal praise, you can give the student other pleasant bonuses: allowing him to take a longer walk or sit at the computer, buy something tasty, etc.
Cognitive Component Training
It is important to understand when initiative is appropriate.
When a student is internally ready to take initiative, it is important to channel this readiness in the right direction. You can do this as follows:
- Give maximum theoretical knowledge on this issue. Personal examples and examples can also be used here famous people. In addition, it is important to develop in the child an understanding of when it is possible to take initiative. For example, these could be learning situations (raise your hand to answer or go to the board, suggest an idea for creating a poster on life safety, etc.), everyday situations (do something around the house, go to the store, suggest an option for a family vacation on the weekend etc.), situations with friends (suggest a new game, come up with interesting activity and so on.).
- Discuss specific situations in which it is possible to take initiative. Ask your child when and where he can take the initiative, and what exactly it will involve. Discuss these cases and adjust if necessary. For example, a child says that he can propose an idea for a project, but is not ready to begin implementing it. It is important to explain to him that the expression of initiative also implies its implementation and that he must be prepared to be entrusted with this activity.
- Design the situation together with the student. For example, a student has been learning a poem for a long time and can recite it perfectly. In this case, taking the initiative will raise your hand and volunteer to answer, and its consequence will be either a call to the board and receiving a positive mark, or a delay in realizing the desire to recite a poem (for example, if there are many people in the class). It is important that the child is prepared for any of the outcomes and does not lose the desire to show his initiative in the future.
Training of behavioral and emotional-volitional components
The behavioral and emotional-volitional components are also interconnected, which makes it possible to consider their training together. This will be ensured by:
- Availability of sufficient resources to manifest and implement initiatives. The child must have necessary tools for this, for example, literature, the availability of sufficient free time, the opportunity to attend some event, the opportunity to obtain materials for the implementation of the project, etc.
- Creating situations that require the manifestation of this quality. Parents and teachers themselves can create situations when a student must show initiative: a proposal to create creative project, plan events for the weekend, come up with an interesting activity, etc.
- Gradual inclusion in serious independent activities. If it is required that the student not only take the initiative, but also independently engage in some important activity, then it is necessary to include it gradually, starting with small things. For example, at first just express an idea, another time, in addition to this, come up with a way to implement it, then, in addition to this, find the necessary resources for implementation, etc. The last stage will be completely independent implementation.
- Willingness to support the initiative. It is important that she finds approval from her parents, so that they are ready to provide their help, provide the necessary resources, etc.
- Help in taking initiative, competently directing it if necessary. At the first stages, parents/teachers should work together with the child and help as much as possible in his endeavors. If he does something incorrectly, it is important to carefully direct the activity in the right direction. An example of such interaction: a child comes up with a menu for festive table, but parents still control this process (give advice if necessary, make small changes, but always explain the reason for this, etc.).
- Reasonable praise and constructive criticism of actions. During the process of taking initiative and after receiving results, note the strengths and weak sides performing this activity. You shouldn’t over-praise the work, but harsh criticism would be unnecessary.
- Stimulating self-analysis by schoolchildren of their activities. It is important that the student himself evaluates the results of his own initiative. To do this, you can ask what he liked/disliked about this activity, what he would like to change, what to pay attention to in the future, etc.
At first, the child will need your help and support.
How to build long-term relationships in the future?
Why are some women unable to do this, despite the fact that they have many men themselves?
The “quality” of men and relationships with excessive activity and initiative of the woman herself is simply an order of magnitude lower. And, especially, this mistake has a detrimental effect on the dating stage and at the beginning of a relationship.
Let me give you a small example from another area. Let's say we have the same newspaper. We distribute the first part of the circulation free of charge, dropping it into mailboxes. We leave the second part on counters in business centers, and sell the third part. Let me note that this is the same newspaper with absolutely the same content.
So: first - free newspapers shoved into your mailbox without your consent. That is, these newspapers are actually forcing it on you. What do people do with such newspapers? Nobody values such newspapers; they don’t buy expensive goods with them. The vast majority of people throw away such newspapers without even reading them. It happens that some people cut sausage with them, and grandmothers wipe their windows with them in the spring.
Likewise, a girl (woman) who takes the initiative when meeting someone, constantly calls, offers men something, etc., is not valued by a man, or is valued much less than she is worth.
I repeat once again - do not take the initiative and do not get to know each other first. Interested - yes. Hold your gaze a little longer - yes. Walk by and smile a little - yes. Quickly and easily respond to a man’s meager initiative. But never come up to meet someone first. Don't ask me to dance. Don't ask someone to introduce you to the man you like. And, of course, don't call first.
Are there exceptions to this rule? There are, but that’s why they are exceptions, so as not to focus on them.
Second – business centers, where the newspaper is laid out on special racks. Only in this case, no one pushes a newspaper into your pocket (mailbox). If you need, you can go to the counter, look through a newspaper or magazine, if you don’t like it, then put it back. If you liked it, you can take it with you.
Everything is just as free as in the first example, the same content, only in this case no one is forcing anything on the person. The person himself must make some, even minimal, effort in order to take the newspaper from the rack. So what am I observing? Although such magazines and newspapers are usually filled to capacity with advertising, no less than in the first example, they read them much more carefully, they also read advertisements and advertising articles. Rarely does anyone throw it away immediately; they usually take it with them to look at the information more carefully.
The following situation. A man paid for a newspaper at a kiosk. It happens that this amount is completely symbolic for a person, sometimes 40-50 rubles. Nevertheless, a person reads such a newspaper very carefully. The attitude towards such newspapers and magazines is completely different. They are rarely thrown out immediately even after reading them completely at once. It happens that archives from newspapers are even preserved for some time; someone cuts out articles they like and makes a binder.
Okay, if the newspapers were different, everything would be clear. One newspaper is interesting, the other is uninteresting, overly stuffed with advertising. Then it’s clear that uninteresting newspapers would be thrown out, but interesting ones would be kept. However, the only difference is in the method of distribution, and what a huge difference in the perception of value!
The third example is the behavior of a woman when a man not only took the initiative, invited him to dance, started a conversation, etc. But he still had to court for some time, he went through the candy-flower stage of the relationship for several weeks, learned to communicate, etc. Even if it didn't cause him undue difficulties, it was still a completely different start to the relationship. And even better, when the woman you liked disappeared, having previously left a slight hint of where she could be found, but “didn’t have time to give her a phone number”, “she recently changed her phone number and hasn’t remembered it yet. But it seems that Pavel Petrovich from the personnel department of the company “Veselaya Daisy” wrote it down in my personal file, but maybe not,” etc.
You need to understand that people do not like when something is imposed on them. Be it free newspapers, free information (spam), etc.
And the second thing that needs to be remembered forever is that people do not value what they get for free. And those people who give away for free what everyone else pays for are not respected!
Now let's talk more about what it is 
psychology of men and how to understand men?
How to please a man in the first meetings, and then fall in love with a man and live with him as long as a woman needs?
Another small example. A man watches football on TV, watches how someone scores goals, runs, misses and, let’s say, his favorite team wins. While watching, he shouts something, swears displeasedly, etc. But in the end he is satisfied. Of course a man wants to win and wants to know who will win, but he wants the game even more! Even more than victories.
A woman, of course, can come up to him and immediately tell him the score. And thereby deprive him of the pleasure of the game and, in many ways, the meaning of watching it. There's nothing worse than doing this! The man, in one way or another, will later “revenge” you for such an insult, will pester you and grumble all evening, or will throw out his dissatisfaction over an insignificant reason.
The general principle, I think you understand. In conclusion, some specifics:
- no need to invite to dance;
- you don’t need to be the first to approach and start a conversation;
- you don’t have to call yourself at the beginning of the acquaintance, and then, when the relationship develops, he should call much more often than you;
- you don’t need to leave him your phone number and addresses unless he asks. Very often I have seen how men find women based on fragmentary information that they learned when they first met. For example, the institute where the girl studies, faculty, place of work. When they tell the story of their “search” for the woman they like, you can tell by the expression on their faces that this is a real source of pride for them.
There is even a fairy tale “Cinderella”, where the whole plot revolves around how the prince bet the whole kingdom on his ears in order to find the girl he liked. After she was found, despite the fact that she “ran and hid, but not very far,” he was satisfied and married her.
- there is no need to take the initiative in kissing or offering to have sex. Many girls have the wrong idea about men that if she comes up and invites him to have sex, then the man will like her, because “that’s all he’s interested in.” No, he’s not only interested in “this,” he’s interested in a lot of things. And he will run away from such an activist, if not the first time, then certainly the second time. Such women frighten men and make them wary;
- give the man the opportunity to court you at least a little before he gets you. Let him impress you, persuade you, make you fall in love, etc. I don’t know how long, but as a guide, at least one month;
- don’t meet too often, especially at first. You still have nothing special to talk about, and everything will become boring too quickly;
- and if you want not only to make a man fall in love with you, but also to successfully marry him, then do not start living together until he proposes, or even better, until you submit an application to the registry office. You can meet, have sex, communicate several times a week, but you should not start living together until he takes specific actions on his part aimed at registering your relationship (again, if this is important to you and family is a value to you);
- and also, never decide the question of where to meet. Even if you have an apartment and the opportunity to meet a man in it, you should not tell him about it. Let him decide this issue on his own. I wish you happiness and success in your personal life.
Best regards, Rashid Kirranov.
Mom, give me yours - my third hand.
Parents often complain that their children do not allow them to breathe peacefully; they take up too much time, they always need something from their parents. Actually this is not true. If you observe yourself carefully, you may notice that adults take up even more of their children's time. And too often they take the initiative. They suggest games, they fix bugs, they lead the conversation. It would seem, what's wrong with that? MINI TEST
To begin with, please answer this question: “ How to proceed?»
First part of the test
1. Your baby asked to read him a story, but you were very busy and promised to do it later. Finally, having found some free time, you approach him with a book, but you see that the child is playing enthusiastically and doesn’t care about the fairy tale. Will you insist?
2. You want (are going, intend) to chat with your child or ask him about something, that is, to communicate. Go into the nursery and see that he is sitting by the window, looking out at the street and thinking about something (or maybe just looking at something invisible to you). Will you interrupt his thoughts?
3. Your beloved teenager has been lying on the bed for an hour and doing nothing (well, nothing!). What do you want to tell him? (Does this outrage you? Do you think he is messing around?)
Most parents answer “yes.” What this positive answer means, you will now understand for yourself.
Second part of the test
Make a 180° turn and project this situation onto yourself (in other words, put yourself in similar conditions).
Imagine for a moment: you are persistently racking your brains over some problem, and suddenly it dawns on you! An idea came, fresh, strong, original. A little more, a little more - and the problem will be solved! And then (at the most crucial moment) a friend shows up. So, your friend appears and starts chatting incessantly, demanding attention to her person. You are hinting that you have no time for her now; in fact, you don’t care about anyone at all - you’re afraid of losing the thread of your reasoning. But your friend doesn’t let up: she either persistently offers something or demands something from you... Tell me honestly, how will you react?
However, it’s already clear: you will be indignant (externally or internally - depending on your upbringing), or lose your temper, or simply sigh sadly and start a conversation. But in any case, you will not be delighted. It’s true that such behavior will not seem to you the height of tact.
Now imagine that you weren’t thinking about a very, very important problem, but were just sitting and taking a break from the hustle and bustle, with pleasant memories swirling in your head. And then your friend bursts in and demands to do what at the moment seems most interesting to her (necessary, important, suitable). Will you like it? Will you be able to change your mind at that very second and become delighted with such an intervention?
I wonder if your friend will realize that she has shown disrespect for you as an individual?
Most parents answer “no.” Here is the answer to the test questions.
This is also how a child feels when he is busy and you are trying to turn him on to you.
Of course, one of the adults can say that he did not intend to interfere with the child, but simply wanted to do what was best. Of course, someone might say that this parallel is not entirely correct. You were doing important work, but the child...
What about a child? Let's figure it out. We consider our personal activities both important and necessary, and our children's activities - for the most part, whims and entertainment. And therefore we easily interfere in their affairs, thoughts, games. Suddenly bursting into the affairs and activities of our child (be it a toddler or a teenager), we:
We behave tactlessly because we distract the child, disturb him, that is, we show disrespect for his personality;
We extinguish children's initiative.
This time.
Second. Many parents are afraid that they will not have time to do everything that is needed for their child: explain, play, teach... And they literally tear themselves apart and try to devote every free minute to their children. They organize games, explain complex concepts, and carefully answer children’s questions. As a result, a child who always gets something ready (ready) learns to think for himself. His gray cells (the same ones that Hercule Poirot admired so much) are losing the habit of working actively. Thoughts run along beaten paths, and you are too lazy to create new ones.
What to do? Just two things:
1. Do not interrupt your child's initiatives. He's busy - and thank God, let him do it.
2. Don’t rush to give ready answers to all the questions your child asks you.. If a question comes to mind, it means that this head already knows 50% how to answer it. Your task is to encourage thinking, to help you find the right answer with leading questions or associations.
Sayings, quotes and aphorisms about initiative
« To achieve perfection, physical health, intellectual development, spiritual knowledge and initiative are required in equal measure.» Hartmann G.
“Some people never take their initiative—until someone asks them to.” Banks R.
“Even an enterprising fool who does at least something can easily overcome a passive genius.” Taylor R.
« Any program of action has inherent risks and costs, but they are much less than the long-term risks and costs generated by comfortable inaction." Kennedy D.
« The most important thing is to do at least something to achieve success, and do it right now. This is the most important secret - despite all its simplicity. Everyone has amazing ideas, but rarely does anyone do anything to put them into practice, right now. Not tomorrow. Not in a week. Now. An entrepreneur who achieves success is one who acts, not slows down, and acts now." Bushnell N.
« Go and do it; you will always have time to justify yourself later.” Hopper G.
« Not all wheels have been invented yet: the world is too amazing to sit idly by." Richard Branson
“Everyone is ready to help, but no one wants to be first.” Bailey P.
« All management ultimately comes down to stimulating the activity of other people.” Iacocca L.
“No great discovery was made without initiative.” Emerson R.
« Initiative and despondency are difficult to combine." Bovey K.
« Even best cars we cannot give initiative: the best steam roller will not plant flowers." Lippman W.
« Don’t let off the steam of initiative into the sound of words.”
« Friends support the initiative by elbows, and the opponent hits her on the hands.» Krasovsky V.
« Doing what you wanted to do more than anything else in the world is a huge injection of adrenaline. Feels like you can fly without a plane." Lindbergh Ch.
« Excessive initiative is characteristic of people who are unable to assess the consequences of their actions.." Shevelev I.
« The highest courage is to think for yourself. Those who dare to think independently will act independently." Artrim B.
« What is initiative? This is what a person does as he should, although he is not asked to do so.» Hubbard E.
« The fate of many people is precisely this: to show themselves half-heartedly.." Hugo V.
“Traditionally, it was instilled that in love men should take the initiative; this is not appropriate for women. These ideas have become obsolete." Osho
FUNNY AND FUN SAYINGS, APHORISMS AND QUOTES ABOUT INITIATIVE
“What one suggests, another is probably already doing somewhere.”
“Whenever you come up with a good idea, there are ten people who have been thinking about it for a long time - to themselves.”
“Any initiative is killed by the approval procedure.”
“If everything is regulated down to the smallest detail, life will be boring for those with initiative.” Neyah
“What should be punished is not initiative, but initiative fools.”
“Taking the initiative into my hands, I almost strangled him.”
“While we expect something from life, it expects the same from us.” Mamchich M.
“The initiator has the initiative, and the initiative has the initiator.”
“The number of employees who think creatively is inversely proportional to the number of punishments they are awarded for it.” Eh R.
« When working in Russia, the main thing to remember is that initiative is punishable.»
« Initiative within reasonable limits is punishable by probation.»
« Independence and initiative are manifested as much in work as in the ability to evade it." Kon I.
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