Features of psychological counseling for adolescents. Psychological counseling for teenagers and high school students Consultative work with teenagers

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Title of the work: “Psychological counseling of adolescents and high school students” Author of the presentation: Alman Vladimirovna Narmaeva, educational psychologist 2017

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The presentation presents guidelines for teachers and specialists on organizing individual advisory work with children at risk in educational institutions. The materials may be useful to educational psychologists, social educators, class teachers. Goal: to determine effective forms and methods of psychological counseling for adolescents and high school students. Psychological counseling is a specially organized conversation between a psychologist and a client to clarify a specific issue, analyze the problem and develop advice or recommendations for solving or regulating them. Individual consultation has the possibility of individual personalized in-depth communication with the student, the use of individualized means of psychological and pedagogical influence.

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Principles of psychological counseling in school Principle of confidentiality. A school psychologist must be extremely demanding of himself and careful in terms of “information leakage.” The principle of neutrality and openness. The psychologist must develop a neutral, open attitude towards the client. The principle of personification. The form of the conversation, its duration, the manner of conducting the conversation, the advice and recommendations developed largely depend on the client. The principle of professional persistence. The client himself must be internally prepared for a conversation with a psychologist. However, there are cases when a psychologist can and should conduct a consultation: facts of violence, persistent neurotic reactions, a dangerous and threatening life situation.

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How to start a conversation? In the first minutes, a teenager often waits for initiative from a psychologist. He doesn’t know how to start, he’s afraid, he doesn’t even know how to talk to a psychologist. How should a psychologist act in the first minutes of a conversation? Phrases and forms that can help: “I understand that it is difficult for you to speak right now. Let's forget that you're in a psychologist's office right now. Do you go to the doctor and tell him what hurts you, what worries you? Tell me what worries you, what worries you? I’m listening...” “Of course, it’s difficult for you to talk about yourself. Look, I drew a man, he’s your age, let’s complete his image, what does he look like? What kind of friends does he have? What is his hobby? What problems does he have? “I see you feel uncomfortable, insecure. Try to sit like me: freely, relaxed. Let's just talk".

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Diagnostics during consultation Techniques should not be labor-intensive and short in time. Using diagnostic techniques can help start a dialogue. It is necessary to take into account the emotional state of the client; if the teenager is excited or, conversely, depressed, then the diagnosis should be postponed to the next meeting. Drawing tests can be successfully used with teenagers who have communication difficulties.

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Methodical techniques “Mirror” technique. The psychologist begins to tell a story about another child, whose situation largely coincides with the client’s situation. In the book by Australian child psychologist D. Brett, “Once Upon a Time There Was a Girl Like You...”, the psychologist will find a whole scattering of examples, recipes and recommendations for many problematic situations. Writing according to the model of “therapeutic stories” proposed by Doris Brett, an adult ( former child) can really help other children - their own or others' - cope with various difficulties and sorrows.

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Methodical techniques Reception “Apartment/house plan”. The psychologist asks the teenager to draw a plan of an apartment or house and describe where he likes to spend his free time, what he does there, where he can be alone, where he communicates with other family members, etc. This technique allows not only to diagnose the characteristics of parent-child relationships, but also helps the child see the internal resources that help him cope with difficulties. Reception “Images of Conflict”. The psychologist invites the child to remember the conflict that occurred and make the participants in the conflict out of foil in the form of images and symbols. The next step is to compose and tell this story. During the conversation, the teenager can see this conflict situation from different sides, understand the reasons, and develop behavioral tactics.

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Methods of providing psychological assistance As part of counseling, a psychologist provides assistance and support in solving a variety of psychological problems and overcoming difficult life situations. If you are unable to control yourself and restrain your negative emotions, the following are used: Breathing exercises (“Breathing out black”, etc.) Visualization (“ Favorite place", "Grain") Intense exercise stress(running, fast walking, etc.) If you have uncertainty, stiffness, tightness, first of all you should use bodily exercises that relieve muscle tension; exercises that help you understand yourself (“Who am I?”, “I am good”) are also effective , I am bad”, “Letter to myself”).

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Methods of providing psychological assistance If you are unable to cope with the experiences of depressive states, to regulate your internal state, it is important to use not only purely psychotechnical methods, but also simply everyday, everyday ones. Individual activities: sports, music, communication, walking, cooking, pets, singing, drawing, etc. A person’s work on himself is a difficult and long journey. It is very important to end the consultation with warm and energetic words: “What kind of person are you?” interesting person! "Everything will be alright!" "Action!"

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Literature 1. Kociunas R. Fundamentals of psychological counseling. - M.: Academic project, 2009. 2. Samukina N.V. Practical psychologist at school: lectures, counseling, trainings. –M.: Publishing House of the Institute of Psychotherapy, 2003. 3. Kolesnikova G.I. Psychological consultation. - M.: Phoenix, 2006. 4. Nemov P. S. Psychological counseling. - M., 2003. 5. Vasilyuk F.E. Understanding psychotherapy as an experience in building a psychotechnical system // Humanitarian research in psychotherapy. M.: MGPPU, PI RAO, 2007. 6. Shneider L.B., Volnova G.V., Zykova M.N. Psychological consultation. Tutorial for higher education students educational institutions. Series "Silver Owl". - M.: Izhitsa, 2002. 7. Gulina M.A. Basics of individual psychological counseling. St. Petersburg: Publishing House S. - Petersburg. University, 2001.

With regard to the advisory work of a psychologist with parents, it should be noted that it is based on a special model of behavior of parents and their interaction with specialists.

The main feature of such work is that in most cases the psychologist is faced not just with an unformed request for help, but with an extremely negative attitude both towards the procedure of interaction with the specialist, and partly towards him himself. This is one of the most powerful factors in the desire to hide from others what is happening with the child (which determines the confidential focus of counseling). Another option is the parents’ absolute indifference to the child’s problems and ignoring both the problems themselves and the recommendations of specialists. This behavior is partly explained by the socioeconomic and cultural characteristics of families whose children are enrolled in the special education system. Many people from these families come from marginalized sections of the population and are poorly financially secure. In the modern social situation, many parents are unemployed or work in low-paid, non-permanent jobs - they are engaged in low-skilled labor. The percentage of alcoholism among members of such families is high. These and many other factors determine, as a rule, a low sociocultural level, which naturally affects the relationship of the family with the educational institution, with specialists, and determines the specifics of the psychological counseling process.

The work of a psychologist in such a situation requires him to have special technologies for interacting with the family and mastering adequate methods of influence and psychotherapeutic techniques.

Features of counseling adolescent children and their parents

1) The psychologist must proceed from the psychological normative tasks of age (tasks of self-determination in three areas - sexual, psychological (intellectual, personal, emotional), social).

2) The psychologist needs to look at the situation through the eyes of a teenager.

3) When counseling a parent-teenager dyad, many features characteristic of counseling a married couple apply (such as visibility of problems in a couple, the possibility of using techniques related to the joint activities of the couple, more serious motivation to work, disruption of all work if one person from the group does not want to work couples and others).

4) The importance of analyzing a case through an individual lens life path child (taking into account the past and future of the child, genetically given and cultural, features of the passage of age-related crises, etc.). Psychological difficulties in the present are a distant consequence of the characteristics of the passage of previous ages. Such a consequence is more difficult to restore in a counseling setting.

5) The psychologist pays much more attention to the emerging sexuality of a teenager than in previous ages. For the first time, a consulting psychologist has to behave with a teenager as with a nascent man or woman.

Stages of working with parents of teenagers

At each stage of the consultation process (preparing for consultation, the first session, diagnosing the child’s development, the final conversation with parents - issuing information, the stage of family decision-making), the psychologist must be guided by the structure of psychological correction specific to this stage, methods and techniques of psychological work with family.

Let us consider the stages and features of the work of a consultant psychologist at each of them.

First stage

(Preparation for consultation. First contact with the family)

Regardless of whether the parents were called to a specialist or came themselves, the nature of the first contact is special meaning. An appointment can be made either by telephone or during a personal meeting between one of the family members and a psychologist. The parent(s) are informed what information or documents are needed and the date and time of the consultation are agreed upon. It is advisable that already at this moment parents can ask questions that interest them and receive comments regarding the proposed consultation. This helps bring some clarity to their expectations. Trust relationships can also be facilitated by some background information about specialists, the name and regalia of the consultant with whom they are registered, etc.

The psychologist, for his part, will be able to find out at the first contact about the social and everyday situation in the family, its composition and structure, the names and patronymics of its members. Such information greatly evokes the respect of parents and increases the effectiveness of counseling starting from its first stages.

Second phase

The consultation session is the central point in which there is a continuous cross-flow of information from the parents and the consultant.

The effectiveness of this session largely depends on the capabilities and skills of the specialists conducting the reception. These are mainly those abilities that create trust and facilitate communication with counselees, empathy, understanding, respect, positive attitude, sincerity and specificity. Along with the above are the identification and understanding of the experiences of parents, as well as, which in this case is important, the ability to convey to family members an understanding of their experiences. A positive attitude is the consultant’s ability to express respect and recognition of the right to have expressed feelings, the right to make decisions themselves.

A feature of the educational psychologist’s consulting work in such a situation is that almost simultaneously with consulting parents, he must assess the nature of the problems and the level of current development of the child. After all, parents came to the consultation first of all to find out what was wrong with their child. And it is impossible to delay either the consultation, or, moreover, the diagnosis and analysis of the child’s condition. Both of these processes overlap one another and sometimes work with parents, seeing their condition, has to begin long before an in-depth diagnosis is carried out and anything definite can be said about the child’s condition.

One of the important components of psychotherapeutic work at this stage is the ability to confront. The consultant should point out to parents the inconsistency in their perceptions, value systems, etc. While the capacity for empathy is associated with the initial steps of counseling, confrontation goes further - it shows the counselee that the counselor has noted and recognized the inconsistency. Here it is necessary to introduce such an important concept for counseling as communication phases.

The consultant must interact with the family in a certain sequence, without skipping or downplaying the importance of each phase (stage), and at each stage of communication, parents must themselves determine their fears and concerns, and be aware of their view of the current situation.

a) Initially, it is necessary to identify the parents’ level of understanding of the nature of the child’s difficulties and the level of family adaptation to this. This should be identified before parents ask the counselor questions. If parents cannot speak clearly, the counselor should ask questions himself, demonstrating confidence that he understands and shares their concerns.

b) Clarity of facts. At this stage (phase) parents cover the facts family life and child development (even if in the form of family “myth-making”). These facts are analyzed by the consultant and accumulated, as it were, in order to later convince the parents. An important point at this stage is also to explain to parents the need for such work (such a story), which forces them to carefully think about what they say about the child.

c) Informing the family by the consultant. At this stage, not only the transfer of information to the family occurs, but also a check of what and how the parents realized in the previous phases (counter flow of information). You cannot provide information without making sure that the parents understand the consultant’s position and his view of the family’s problems.

It should be noted that the entire structure of the counseling process - the stages and associated phases of communication - are in close connection with the dynamics of the emotional state of the parents, the socio-psychological adaptation of the family as a whole. Depending on the severity and duration of a particular phase of the emotional state of the parents, it should change and the duration of stages and phases of communication. Thus, the phase of informing the family, as a rule, takes place before the decision-making stage, but is closely related to the state of the parents. All this, as a rule, occurs in the fourth phase of the state - convalescence, when parents are able to most adequately perceive this information, although in some cases the transfer of complete information is possible already in the third phase of family psychodynamics, at least at its end. This is a more effective stimulation for the mother to come out of a depressive state. In this situation, much depends on the qualifications of the specialist, his ability to evaluate and correctly structure the counseling process.

Feedback from the consultant to the family includes monitoring verbal and nonverbal reactions, controlling emotions, and stopping unwanted reactions.

It should be noted that the entire structure of the counseling process - the stages and associated phases of communication - are in close connection with the dynamics of the emotional state of the parents, the socio-psychological adaptation of the family as a whole. Depending on the severity and duration of a particular phase of the emotional state of the parents, it should change and the duration of stages and phases of communication. Thus, the phase of informing the family, as a rule, takes place before the decision-making stage, but is closely related to the state of the parents. All this, as a rule, occurs in the fourth phase of the state - convalescence, when parents are able to most adequately perceive this information, although in some cases the transfer of complete information is possible already in the third phase of family psychodynamics, at least at the end. This is a more effective stimulation for the mother to come out of a depressive state. In this situation, much depends on the qualifications of the specialist, his ability to evaluate and correctly structure the counseling process.

Third stage.

(Decision stage)

This is the main stage of all counseling. The extent to which the decision is adequately made, the extent to which the family understands it and the extent to which the parents will follow it in the future determines the effectiveness of counseling as a whole. It is necessary that parents understand that this decision will affect their lives, that they will have to live based on their own decision. Their point of view (so far only declared) must be integrated into the concept of a sense of responsibility.

The consultant is often one of the few people to whom parents can open up, and the only one who can influence their unrealistic fantasies at this moment. A common professional practice is to simply tell parents that they have not done anything that should cause them to feel guilty, not to comment on the feelings they are experiencing, or to talk about how people like them often feel guilty when they have problem child, often turns out to be unconstructive.

Thus, the counselor's initial strategy for reducing feelings of guilt or shame is to help parents freely express their opinions about the problem that brought them to counseling. The consultant's intervention in this stage of recognition or even skipping it in the work leads to a decrease in the effectiveness of subsequent interventions. It often happens that a consultant, using one of the tactfulness available in his arsenal in various educational institutions, has shown that similar methods and techniques of correctional work with parents are applicable to a variety of situations in counseling parents with children with various types of deviant development. Moreover, the full use of these approaches is determined only by the peculiarities of the parents’ subjective perception of their child.

Having studied the literature on this topic, I came to the conclusion that it is necessary to develop an algorithm for counseling children and parents, because with problems related to features adolescence, all participants collide educational process. It is necessary to tell parents that puberty is inevitable and parents should be prepared to experience it calmly and together with the child, and not on opposite sides of the barricades. After all, all children are different and experience this period in different ways: some rebel, openly protest, others suffer in silence, withdrawing into themselves and quietly swallowing tears. However, in both cases, children need support, attention and care. They should really feel that their family and friends understand their problems and are trying to answer the questions that the situation of growing up poses to them.

Psychological counseling program for problems associated with difficult behavior in adolescence.

The purpose of the program: to provide advisory assistance to teenagers who find themselves in difficult situations, to help them understand and learn to manage behavior, to include in the counseling process all participants in the educational process who are in contact with teenagers in difficult situations.

Program objectives:

Develop the ability to understand the features of your inner world;

Teach ways of constructive behavior;

Help the teenager understand the reasons for his behavior;

Help increase control over your emotions;

Teach ways to relieve tension, including in stressful situations;

Develop skills of respectful attitude towards people and yourself, as well as constructive communication skills;

Help increase self-confidence in teenagers.

Program directions:

1. diagnosis of the level of anxiety, additive behavior of a teenager;

2. the teenager’s understanding and awareness of the presence of a problem;

3. increasing the level of self-confidence, self-esteem, as well as respectful attitude towards other people;

4. training in relaxation techniques, relieving muscle tension, effective control over the manifestation of negative emotions and aggressive outbursts;

5. working through the causes of behavioral disorders, learning new ways of interaction.

Areas of work
Psychodiagnostics	Bass-Darkey questionnaire for determining the level of aggression
	Phillips Anxiety Scale technique
Advisory work on student behavior problems	According to the diagnostic results: Formation of groups for group consultations. Drawing up a plan for individual consultations.
	Training program with parents.
Psychological education on student problems	Round table for parents, topics: "Psychological characteristics of adolescents",
Psychocorrectional work	Parent counseling (Appendix 2).

Algorithm for psychological counseling of parents

1. Analysis of information received in an initial conversation with parents, specialists, teachers, establishing contact with the child.

2. A conversation with parents aimed at obtaining information about the previous stages of the child’s development, his intrafamily relationships and social circumstances.

3. Collection of information from other institutions about health status (if necessary).

4. Observation of the child in natural conditions.

5. Experimental psychological examination of the child.

6. Data processing, causal analysis of results.

7. Psychological diagnosis of the child.

8. Psychological and pedagogical purpose.

9. Control, repeated consultation.

A consulting psychologist who provides counseling to a family with a problem child must clearly and clearly understand the goals and objectives of counseling and realistically assess the enormous burden of such work and the responsibility for their activities. The consultant must be aware that a psychologically correctly structured discussion of the family’s worries and fears can significantly weaken some of the unpleasant reactions, increase the effectiveness of the counseling itself, and the psychotherapeutic oriented counseling process can prevent a large amount of unnecessary suffering of people. At the same time, the consultant must understand that his own position and the counseling tactics he uses should not violate the rights of parents (and the rights of the child) to determine the fate of the child, and ultimately the fate of the family.

Life in a family with a teenager is like a couple dance with roles changing. You act now in the role of a leader, now in the role of a follower, now in the role of an authority, now in the role of a “teapot” who understands nothing in modern youth subculture. Moreover, these roles are not masks (the main thing is not to “play” anything), but the real readiness of the parent to adapt to the constantly changing situation and mood, a flexible position in relation to the opinions and views of their own child and respect for ANOTHER individual.

You will have to admit that the period of “unquestioned parental authority” will never return, so stop commanding and leading. This is an absolutely losing strategy for relationships with any teenager. Try to “earn” your former authority again. On this path, it is necessary to be guided by the fact that the child no longer believes abstract words and declarations, he ANALYZES your actions, strategies, status.

Try not only to listen to your child, but also to observe his reactions. Sometimes his posture, gestures and facial expressions speak better about his condition than the usual verbal (verbal) teenage protest. Ask yourself the question: “WHY does he react so inappropriately?”, “What can I do to smooth out the confrontation?” Believe me, he doesn't want to fight, he wants to figure it out and invites you to follow him.

Do not plan a specific result of the “educational influence”, and do not get hung up on it. He will still be different. After all, this PAIRS dance relationships (see paragraph 1). You had one thing in mind, but it turned out completely different - rejoice. Your child has saved you from yet another stereotype. Thus, it promotes your personal growth by provoking spontaneous reactions.

Remember that one of the features of adolescence is the need for risk, sometimes not very justified, dictated by the desire to assert oneself. If you haven't learned this yet, the time has come. Don’t be afraid to take risks with your child, but on your own territory. The more persistent and resourceful you are in your desire to try NEW ways of interacting with your child, the sooner you will begin to speak the same language with him. The main thing is to make sure that the teenager never ceases to be amazed at your ingenuity.

Maintain a sense of humor and try to convey to your child at least most your optimism. The fact is that your teenager perceives all the changes that happen to him, both physical and spiritual, as very tragic. If you yourself also begin to get stuck on the analysis and analysis of children's problems and the prospects for resolving them, then the situation at home becomes similar to a continuous production meeting. In order to better see the situation, step back from it and try to look at it with a fair amount of humor. “Big things are seen from a distance,” preferably from a lighter and more optimistic position. You shouldn’t joke about a teenager’s emotions; it’s much more effective to be sarcastic about the situation itself. A joke will help defuse the situation a little.

Try to “filter” the information coming to you from the media and literature on the problems of adolescence. Firstly, it itself is far from ideal in terms of depth of analysis. Secondly, good publication tone recent years became "horror stories". Believe me, not everything you read applies specifically to your child. Try, as it were, to try on what you read on him, and you will see that the “suit” does not always fit. Not all “horror things” that happen to teenagers must happen to your child.

Think about the family values ​​and traditions that exist in your family. Analyze what of this baggage has become common to you and your child, and where the obvious divide lies. This will be a juxtaposition and comparison of two points of view on the eternal value question: “What is good and what is bad?” Moral and ethical values ​​cannot be mechanically conveyed, much less imposed; they are formed and become one’s own or remain alien throughout childhood. And if some value guidelines that are very significant for you are on the list of strangers for your child, don’t grab your head and don’t “nag.” Think not how to tell and declare, but how to show and convince of the advantages of a particular quality or property. Analyze what you could borrow from your child, what you could learn.

One of the main aspirations of a teenager is the desire for independence. But independence presupposes full responsibility for oneself and all possible responsibility for the life of the family. The main problem is that a teenager strives for responsibility only where it is beneficial to him. Your task is to learn to share your responsibility with him in other “unprofitable” areas, at first glance. You need to let him understand that everything that happens in his life and in the life of his family now happens not only thanks to you or through your fault, as it was in early childhood, but also thanks to/despite his actions.

A teenager is not clay, and you are not a sculptor. Unfortunately, you are not able to fashion a sculpture of an “ideal” child, embodying all your aspirations, dreams, fantasies and ambitions, from a real son or daughter. He has a completely different “ideal self”. Your goal is to help him change and grow, based on his real aspirations and goals.

Adolescence is such an intense stage of change in a child’s life that it absorbs it entirely. Give the teenager the opportunity to feel the continuity of life and the continuity of change and self-development, and this stage is just another, perhaps the most difficult and real, step towards adulthood. Show the interconnection and mutual influence of childhood life experience (past), turbulent changes (present), and self-determination (future), because a life scenario is a result that combines all components.

Teach your child not to be afraid of his own mistakes and treat them as, perhaps, not the most pleasant experience for later analysis. The banal expression “only those who do nothing make no mistakes” helps to realize this. It is advisable to show the experience of “ups and downs” using examples from your own life and the lives of other people significant to the child, and not through constant recitation and endless “debriefing of his flights.”

Pay the teenager's attention to the fact that any person is characterized by internal inconsistency, ambiguity, conflict of desires and motives of behavior. The concepts of good - evil, loser - winner, freedom - dependence, will - lack of will, truth - lie, etc. are sometimes so relative, ambiguous and unstable that every new situation in the life of an adult requires their verification, analysis, and sometimes a complete revision. Then it is easier to cope with them, since from a number of unique and personal problems they become universal. The “everyone goes through this” attitude is much less vulnerable and more secure than the “I’m so inconsistent” attitude.

COUNSELING A PARENT OF A TEENAGER WHO HAS BEEN INVOLVED WITH BAD COMPANY

Goal: to help the parent understand the reasons that pushed the teenager to changes in behavior and a change in his social circle.

1. Identify the reasons for changing your social circle.

2. Determine ways to overcome the teenager’s changed behavior.

Resources: Time – 50 min.

Number of clients: 1 person.

Age: 40 years

Progress of the program:

Consulting algorithm

The mother of a 10th grade student came to the consultant.

Stage 0 – establishing contact with the client on three levels: biological, non-verbal and verbal.

Consultant: Good afternoon. Let's get acquainted. My name is Nadezhda. How would you like me to call you?

Client: Hello. My name is Natalya.

Consultant: Natalya, are you working?

Client: Yes, I work at a school as a Russian language teacher.

Consultant: Please tell me, Natalya, are you married and where does your husband work?

Client: Yes, I have been married for 22 years. My husband works at a factory

Consultant: Natalia, what problem did you come to me with?

Client: For my son Artem in Lately There are complaints from teachers, he skips classes, doesn’t do homework, and gets involved with bad company. Help me, I don't know what to do.

Consultant: What do you feel and feel now when you say this?

Client: I’m worried about my son, and I want to find the reasons for this behavior. Previously, he was an excellent student and played sports. We have a prosperous family.

Consultant: Do I understand you correctly that you do not understand the reasons for your son’s negative behavior? (establishing intellectual contact). Do you want to help your child, but don’t know how to do it and feel worried about him?

Client: yes, you are right. I worry about my son and understand that something needs to be done, but how can I get him out of this company?

Consultant: Tell me: how do you imagine how I will help you? (putting the client into a state of confusion)

Consultant: let's try to clarify what you want to achieve ultimately?

Client: I want my son to stop communicating with these guys and become the way he was again.

Consultant: Tell us what could have provoked your son to communicate with these guys and skip classes.

Client: My husband, like me, is constantly at work. You see, we are trying to provide our son with material well-being, we want him not to need anything, so we work very hard. I work at 1.5 times the rate. But Artem is under the supervision of his grandparents, my parents.

Consultant: tell me, did your son move away from you before?

Client: No. My husband and son and I constantly went out into nature and walked together. My son and I had trusting relationship. And now he seems to have closed himself off from me.

Consultant: How does he show you that he is closed from you??

Client: He quite often began to lock himself in his room, going for a walk, without asking my husband and me for leave. Answers questions in monosyllables or asks why we need to know anything about him.

Consultant: what do you experience at such moments?

Client: I’m very sorry that my relationship with my son has gotten worse. I'm scared that he will start drinking or smoking...

Consultant: And how long has this behavior of your son been going on?

Client: Quite a long time ago, several months.

Counselor: Have you tried to talk to your son about his behavior? Did they ask about his feelings?

Client: Both my husband and I tried, but he is silent and doesn’t say anything, just “Go to your work, I’ll figure it out without you”

Consultant: Why do you think he answers you like that?

Client: I don’t know, maybe I’m offended by something.

Consultant: Why do you think your son might be offended by you?

Client: I can’t even imagine, because he has everything: a computer, a new phone, clothes......

Consultant: Do you think this is enough for a teenager to feel happy?

Client: Probably not...

Consultant: How well do you know your son? What do you feel at this moment, what feelings do you experience?

Client: ... (pause) You know, I just now realized that my son and I practically do not understand each other... I am very sad and ashamed...

Consultant: Why do you feel ashamed?

Client: I’m ashamed in front of my son, because my husband and I pay practically no attention to him, busy with our work...

Consultant: what do you want to do now?

Client: ... I want to come home now and hug Artem.

Consultant: Do you think this will help?

Client: I understood what we need to do. I will talk to my husband about the need to reduce work hours and spend more time with my son.

Consultant: How do you feel now?

Client: I feel a sense of relief and joy.

Consultant: It’s great that you came to this conclusion. You are happy!

Client: yes!

Consultant: now, it will be very good if you and your husband spend most of the time with your son and regain your child’s trust and disposition.

I am very interested in how your family relationships will develop! If you have any questions, call and we will arrange a new meeting!

Literature

1. Brumenskaya G.V., E.I. Zakharova, O.A. Karabanova et al. Age-related psychological approach to counseling children and adolescents. – M.: Academy, 2002.

2. Obukhova L.F. Child (age) psychology. – M.: Russian Pedagogical Agency, 2000.

3. Olifirovich N. I., Zinkevich-Kuzemkina T. A., Velenta T. F. Psychology of family crises. – St. Petersburg: Rech, 2006.

4. Psychology of a teenager / Under. ed. Reana A.A. – St. Petersburg: Prime-Eurosign, 2007.

5. Karabanova O.A. Psychology family relations and the basics of family counseling. – M., 2004.P.96

Adolescence is one of the most difficult years in psychological counseling. Statistics confirm that the number of cases of seeking psychological help during this period increases sharply, while the range of requests from parents sharply expands. What makes this period of a child’s life even more special from the point of view of the peculiarities of psychological counseling is that now the teenager himself for the first time becomes a client - the subject of seeking psychological consultation, informing, and sometimes not informing his parents about this.

Mental development in adolescence unfolds against the backdrop of a number of contradictions or even paradoxes:

1) a teenager, considering himself a unique person, at the same time strives to be outwardly no different from his peers;

2) egocentric dominant (a teenager’s interest in his own personality) is closely intertwined with an uncontrollable craving for communication and noisy companies;

3) the teenager’s desire to show his independence by doing the exact opposite of what is required and not realizing that by doing so he actually shows his dependence on his parents: the decision should not coincide with the decision of adults, therefore it is not completely free;

4) romanticism goes hand in hand with cynicism;

5) volitional aspirations can be realized both in “character education” and in stubbornness and negativism;

6) a teenager strives to have a close, loyal friend and at the same time feverishly changes friends;

7) self-esteem can vary from inadequately high to inadequately low;

8) the desire for active activity and contemplation.

All this makes the task of describing the features of counseling parents of teenage children and adolescents themselves very difficult.

Firstly, the developmental psychologist-consultant in his activities always proceeds from psychological normative tasks of age. The psychological tasks of adolescents are primarily tasks of self-determination in three areas: sexual, psychological (intellectual, personal, emotional) and social.

Secondly, as emphasized by A.G. Leaders, a developmental psychologist-consultant, in the case of consulting parents of children of any age, and especially teenagers, must look to the situation presented to him through the eyes of a child, in this case, a teenager . This feature is one of the values ​​of age-related psychological counseling for parents and their children. This position is based on the well-known position of theoretical developmental psychology: the objective social situation of the development of a child (adolescent) determines his mental development and determines his mental health not by itself, not automatically, but only by being refracted in his subjective experiences, mediated by his position in this social situations.

Implementing this principle in relation to adolescence is not an easy task. If parents brought children up to the sixth grade inclusively to the consultation quite calmly, and the children answered the psychologist’s questions fully and meaningfully, then adolescents in the context of consultation, which was initiated by their parents, feel “out of place.” It is usually very difficult to “talk” to such a teenager; the reliability of performing psychodiagnostic procedures leaves much to be desired. As a result, short-term psychological counseling for parents of teenagers does not allow the psychologist to reliably look at the stated problems through the eyes of the child himself. Possible way problem solving - group work.

Third, when counseling a parent-teenager dyad, many recommendations and features come into play, typical for counseling a married couple. This is how Yu.E describes them. Aleshina (Aleshina Yu.E. Individual and family psychological counseling. - M., 1994).

Benefits of working with a couple:

More diagnostic conversation with a married couple, visibility of problems in the couple;

Working with both spouses allows, already in the course of counseling, to directly appeal to the patterns of their relationships “here and now”, right in the conditions of the consultation, which is always more convincing than analyzing what is happening outside of it;

The presence of a couple allows you to use some techniques of counseling and psychological intervention: – psychodrama, family sculpture, organizing joint activities, etc., which is simply impossible when working with one client;

A couple's coming to a consultation means more serious motivation to work; it is assumed that such work will be deeper and longer;

Couple counseling makes it easier for clients to discuss what happened during the consultation: they were both participants in the counseling work and the changes in one of the spouses are more understandable and accepted by the other.

Difficulties when working with a couple:

It is more difficult to conduct a consultation with two clients at once than with one: they still need to be taught to cooperate in counseling, and not interrupt each other or not become offended, etc.;

When working with a couple, it is necessary by all means not to give clients a reason to reproach the psychologist for a coalition with one of them;

Working with a couple is more vulnerable: the reluctance of one spouse to work interferes with working with the couple as a whole;

When working with a couple, the issue of confidentiality must be addressed in a special way.

Fourth, when consulting parents of teenage children, the following principle of developmental psychological counseling works in a special way: analysis of the case through the prism of the individual’s holistic life path. When working with parents of teenage children, we often have to admit that the difficulties of a teenager, as well as the difficulties of the relationship between a teenager and a parent, are a natural, long-term consequence of the problems of long-past ages of his life.

The following advisory case is an illustration. A mother complained about the low academic performance of her 12.5-year-old son. The teenager does not study well and cannot cope with the school curriculum. Diagnostics of the cognitive sphere did not show any deviations: the development of memory, attention, and thinking was a low norm. At the same time, expressed fears were observed in the teenager’s personality picture (although there were no complaints in this regard), namely, fear of the dark. Further analysis of the structure of mental functions showed that it was fears that influenced all types of activities of the teenager, energetically robbing cognitive processes and destructively influencing the emotional and motivational structure of the personality. As a result of collecting anamnesis, talking with the teenager and mother, it turned out that even in kindergarten The boy was frightened by the nanny, who locked him in a dark pantry as punishment.

Thus, a problem that originated in preschool age clearly manifested itself in the teenage period of development. This pattern - the influence of the characteristics of the passage of previous ages on subsequent ones - occurs at all ages, but it is in adolescence that this influence becomes a distant consequence, more difficult to restore in a counseling setting. In addition, a teenager is to an incomparably greater degree the subject of his own holistic life path than a preschooler or even a junior schoolchild.

The need to take into account the influence of the distant past on the problems of a teenager or the problems of parents with a teenager surprisingly corresponds with the need to also take into account the influence of the distant future on these problems. It is generally typical for a teenager to expand the framework of “here and now” into the past and into the future. Many specific techniques for psychological counseling of adolescents use precisely the techniques of working with the teenager’s orientation in time - in the future and past, in the individual and generic for the teenager.

Finally, fifthly, distinctive feature psychological advisory work with parents of teenagers and teenagers themselves is much greater than in previous ages, the psychologist’s attention to emerging sexuality teenager Children of primary school and preschool age are not asexual beings, but only when working with adolescents does a consulting psychologist for the first time have to behave with them at every moment of time as with a nascent man or with a nascent woman.

Adolescence is interesting because it lies on the border between the era of childhood and the era of adulthood, maturity. In fact, psychologically this is the most important characteristic of a teenager: he is at the same time still a child, but also already becoming an adult. The metaphor of “commensurability” by A.G. seems successful. Leaders (Leaders A.G. Psychological training with teenagers. - M., 2002) for the psychological characteristics of adolescence.

Introduction

§1 Features of adolescence

§2 Typical problems faced by teenagers

§3 Methods of counseling adolescents

Conclusion

Bibliography

Introduction

In ancient times, adolescence was considered the same qualitative change in a person’s condition as birth, growing up, marriage, death, and was accompanied by certain rites, called today initiation rites. The passage of a teenager through a set of such rituals meant his full socialization with the receipt of the rights and responsibilities of an adult.

During initiations, adolescents for the first time encountered severe coercion, which had a certain meaning. Through long-term rituals associated with strong shocks, those mental volitional qualities that were considered necessary for an adult were formed.

In addition, completing primary socialization in such a tense environment, the teenager became aware that violation of a number of rules would entail severe punishment, and accepted the social role of an adult. In this way, he absorbed the social and spiritual values ​​of his society.

Adolescence is the most important stage of life, largely determining a person’s subsequent fate. The importance of adolescence is determined by the fact that it lays the foundations and outlines the general directions for the formation of moral and social attitudes of the individual.

Adolescence is the age from 10-11 to 15-16 years, which corresponds to the age of 4-9 grades. This age is called transitional age, because during this period there is a kind of transition from childhood to adulthood, from immaturity to maturity. In this sense, a teenager is half-child and half-adult: childhood is already gone, but maturity has not yet arrived. The transition from childhood to adulthood permeates all aspects of a teenager’s development, including his anatomical, physiological, intellectual, and moral development, and all types of his activities.

The most important processes of adolescence are the expansion of the individual’s life world, his social circle, group affiliation and the type of people he orients himself towards.

The period under consideration is traditionally considered one of the most critical moments in personality development. This is the era of active individualization, the stage of a keenly experienced desire for self-affirmation.

Target test work– describe ways of counseling adolescents.

Test objectives:

1. Characterize the features of adolescence.

2. Describe typical problems faced by adolescents.

3. Explore ways to conduct counseling for adolescents.

The method of study is analysis of scientific literature.

§1 Features of adolescence

The most important distinguishing feature of adolescence is the fundamental changes in the sphere of self-awareness, which are of cardinal importance for all subsequent development and formation of the teenager as an individual. Disturbances in the development of self-awareness can lead to aggressiveness, anxiety, difficulties in communication, and sometimes to suicidal attempts.

During adolescence, young people actively form self-awareness, develop their own independent system of standards of self-esteem and self-attitude, and increasingly develop the ability to penetrate their own world.

At this age, a teenager begins to realize his own peculiarity and uniqueness; a gradual reorientation occurs in his mind from external assessments (mainly parental ones) to internal ones.

The teenager matures physiologically and mentally, and in addition to the new sensations and desires that arise as a result of this maturation, he develops new views on things, a new approach to life. Thus, an important place in the new features of the adolescent’s psyche is occupied by his interest in the thoughts of other people, in what they think about themselves.

In the process of developing self-awareness, the focus of adolescents’ attention increasingly shifts from the external side of the personality to its internal side, from more or less random traits to the character as a whole. Associated with this is an awareness—sometimes exaggerated—of one’s uniqueness and a transition to the spiritual, ideological scale of self-esteem. As a result, a person defines himself as a person for more high level.

The nature of adolescents’ self-esteem determines the formation of certain personality traits. For example, its adequate level contributes to the formation of self-confidence, self-criticism, perseverance or excessive self-confidence and uncriticality in a teenager. Teenagers with adequate self-esteem have a wide range of interests, their activity is aimed at different kinds activities, as well as interpersonal contacts that are moderate and appropriate, aimed at learning about others and oneself in the process of communication.

Teenagers with a tendency to strongly inflate self-esteem show quite limited types of activities and a greater focus on communication, which is of little substance.

Aggressive teenagers are characterized by extreme self-esteem (either maximally positive or maximally negative), increased anxiety, fear of wide social contacts, egocentrism, and inability to find a way out of difficult situations.

The development of reflection is not limited only to internal changes in the personality itself, in connection with which a deeper understanding of other people also becomes possible. The development of self-awareness as a central new formation of adolescence becomes possible and depends entirely on the cultural content of the environment.

Another new formation that arises at the end of adolescence is self-determination. From a subjective point of view, it is associated with awareness of oneself as a member of society and is concretized in a new socially significant position. Self-determination arises, as a rule, at the end of school, when a person is faced with the need to solve the problems of his future. It is based on the already firmly established interests and aspirations of the subject, involves taking into account one’s capabilities and external circumstances, it is based on the emerging worldview of a teenager and is associated with the choice of profession.

The ideas of choosing a life path, one’s value orientations, one’s ideal, one’s friend, one’s profession become the fundamental goals of adolescence.

In the motivational sphere of the communication process among adolescents, dramatic changes are taking place: relationships with parents and teachers lose their relevance, and relationships with peers acquire paramount importance. The communication of teenagers itself becomes deeper and more meaningful, and such emotionally rich forms of interaction as friendship and love appear. The need to belong to a group is most pronounced in adolescence.

For young teenagers, the opportunity to share common interests and hobbies with their peers is of great importance. Later, adolescents are aimed at searching for such contact that would allow them to find understanding and empathy for their feelings, thoughts, ideas, and would also provide emotional support from peers in overcoming various problems associated with age-related development.

Adolescence is called the era of active individualization, a stage of intensely experienced desire for self-affirmation. The desire to stand out, the desire to take a high position, to achieve respect, recognition of one’s personal value and thereby gain the opportunity to reinforce one’s self-esteem and self-esteem largely determines the behavior of children in adolescence.

§2 Typical problems faced by teenagers

One of the problems that a teenager faces is such an important process for this age as separation from the family. It is clear that he is only one side of a single process: the separation of a teenager and a family. The other side of this is the separation of the family itself from the teenager.

Separation of a teenager from his family is the most important prerequisite for his subsequent achievement of maturity, independence, and the ability to take responsibility for his life upon himself. If this process is disrupted, one can subsequently assume either a complete emotional detachment of the young man, or the establishment of a rather painful ambivalent connection: I separate - I feel guilty - I join back - I feel anger - I separate, etc. “As important as this process is, it must be borne in mind that it rarely proceeds without complications, since it is quite difficult for the family to let go of the child.” This can happen for various reasons. In many families, the child serves as the meaning of life for the mother. Separating him from her family makes her life meaningless, she has no one to care for, and therefore has no reason to live. Besides possible solution through the child, problems of the meaning of life; behind increased care for the child there may be a desire for control and power, a search for love and affection, and satisfaction of the need for social prestige. Sometimes a child smoothes out the problem of broken relationships between parents with his presence.

Separation is also difficult if there are structural and role violations in the family. The most common variant of this is the child playing the role of an absent or poorly performing family member. For example, in a family with an emotionally distant father, the mother involves first the eldest son in his role, and after his separation, the youngest son. Or in an incomplete family, the roles of the daughter and mother are changed. Accordingly, the mother, in a childish position, desperately resists the separation of her daughter, who serves as her support. There are so many reasons for a possible violation that in rare families the separation of a teenager is carried out completely without conflict.

There are four stages of separation of a teenager from the family.

The first stage (11-12 years old) is characterized by the adolescent’s conflict between the need for dependence and the desire for autonomy. Its difficulty lies in the fact that the teenager is ambivalent in his expectations of his parents. On the one hand, he resists the manifestations of their care and affection, and on the other, he shows a desire to be pampered.

The second stage is the cognitive implementation of separation (it is difficult to indicate the age, since the transition to this stage can last a lifetime). The teenager proves to everyone: the world, his parents and himself his own independence. Most often this happens through going into opposition, criticizing everything that is done and said by parents. Moreover, the violent reactions of parents only strengthen the desire for emancipation in adolescents. The duration of this stage is determined by the time required for parents to accept the fact that the teenager is growing up.

The third stage is affective reactions to separation. Feelings of guilt, anger, depressive reactions, and mutual fear of losing love may arise here. It is necessary to help parents cultivate a sense of pride and joy in the achievements of their growing child.

The fourth stage is identification. Adults already recognize the teenager’s right to independence, external violence and vulnerability disappears. The teenager focuses on his individualization. It is very important here that the teenager has models of positive integration among significant adults. Thus, the completion of the integrated state ends the process of separation of the adolescent from the family.

In the early stages of development, this interest is more focused on adolescents studying their own bodies, observing its changes and the degree of compliance with generally accepted standards of masculinity and femininity. Gradually, teenagers begin to become interested in the development of others, especially members of the opposite sex. They become aware of their developing sexual feelings and desires, and their interest in sex as an erotic experience increases.

In this regard, it is customary to talk about the gender identification of adolescents. Typically, in gender identification there are two interconnected lines: the development of the gender role and gender identity. Gender role should be understood as the behavioral characteristics of a person determined by belonging to a particular gender. Gender identity can be considered as an idea of ​​oneself in terms of one’s sexual behavior and sexual position.

During this period, adolescents begin to understand both their own gender roles and the ideal roles that they would like to strive for. “Teenagers are especially susceptible to social stereotypes of masculinity and femininity transmitted through the media. However, ideas about masculinity and femininity, formed only on the basis of uncritical absorption of standards broadcast by the media and present in public stereotypes, can significantly complicate the development of a teenager.”

The problem of gender identity formation is one of the most important areas of adolescent development. The development of gender identity is significantly influenced by socio-cultural factors.

First of all, this is a change in the social function of the family: a decrease in the importance of its socio-economic function and an increase in the emotional and psychological, i.e. Sexual satisfaction is recognized as one of the main factors in the success of a marriage and its strength. The consequence of this is the separation of sexual behavior from reproductive behavior. So-called free relationships become possible, which are established in more early age than marriages. The gender identity of many modern teenagers is represented by mature forms of sexual behavior with an insufficiently mature consciousness.

The next change is the narrowing of the sphere of what is forbidden in culture and the growth of public interest in erotica. Society's awareness of sexual issues is increasing. The consequence of these changes can be called a rather contradictory position of adults in relation to teenage sexuality: an increase in tolerance towards it on the part of society, on the one hand, and an increase in the gap in sexual attitudes and behavior within the family, on the other.

Accordingly, adolescents who have extensive sexual knowledge and actual permission from society to use it are faced with the prohibitive position of close adults.

In addition to these factors, extremely high intensity of sexual desire, so-called youthful hypersexuality, can complicate the development of sexual identity. Often teenagers do not have the opportunity to discuss the changes taking place in them with adults, or they hear from them only intimidating and prohibitive information that all this is shameful, harmful, etc. They also receive incorrect information from their peers. It becomes possible for a teenager to develop an acute sense of sexual inferiority, which causes various defensive forms of behavior: from complete avoidance of intimacy with the opposite sex to excessive rudeness or promiscuity in contacts.

The process of formation of gender identity in adolescence is often not easy, accompanied by acute feelings of one’s own sexual failure.

Speaking about typical problems that teenagers face, we should especially focus on the problem of their communication with peers.

The influence of communication with peers on a teenager’s personality plays a decisive role, both in positive and negative aspects. Communication contributes to the successful socialization of a teenager, but can also determine his antisocial behavior.

Communication can contribute to the real or illusory strengthening of a teenager’s “I” through the possibility of self-affirmation among peers, achieving and maintaining a high social status.

However, often the peer group only provides the illusion of power. But if someone resorts to this illusion, it means that he needs it. Adolescents with an unformed ego identity due to too rapid separation from the family, who have not gone through the stage of identification with their parents, strive for this false status.

Teenagers feel the illusion of their own strength when they have a weaker person next to them, against whom they can allow themselves to commit combined violent actions.

Another option is to join informal groups, i.e. spontaneously formed groups of teenagers based on common interests, hobbies, and imitation of a chosen type of behavior (“fans”, “hippies”, “punks”, etc.).

Most of the difficulties in communication among adolescents are associated with disturbances in their passage through a normative crisis and the formation of ego-identity. If the result of the crisis is the formation of a weak identity in a teenager, he will resort to self-isolation and formalization of relationships with peers.

Most often, communication difficulties appear in adolescents with an uncertain identity. In this case, the teenager is dissatisfied with himself in general, perhaps with his appearance, and feels different from his peers. Others seem more confident and attractive to him. A teenager sometimes tries to compensate for his feelings of inferiority through conflicts with his parents, i.e. in an atmosphere of security to prove their usefulness.

Communication experience acquired in adolescence plays a role important role upon entering independent life.

§3 Methods of counseling adolescents

Establishing contact is traditionally carried out through the combination of a consultant and a teenager using verbal and non-verbal means.

Diagnostic conversation with a teenager. The most effective conversation is using a number of projective techniques, such as “Non-existent animal”, “Drawing of a family”, “Animal family”, “Early memory”.

The interpretation stage is one of the most difficult, since it requires the consultant to be able to convey his vision of the causes of difficulties (hypothesis) so that the teenager can understand and accept it. The most effective and safest way for a teenager is not to communicate a hypothesis directly, but indirectly, using the method of “analyzing other people’s problems.” Indirect presentation of the problem allows the consultant to rely on the activity of the teenager himself, and the teenager to formulate the problem in his own language and determine the depth of immersion in it.

The reorientation stage involves, first of all, not finding ways to get rid of the problem, but directing it in a constructive direction, i.e. finding its educational impact, for example, using the “Puss in Boots” technique.

Next, the consultant and the psychologist think about how this difficult situation – his own puss in boots – can benefit the teenager. Sometimes it is important and useful to transfer the problem “from liability to asset”, i.e. creating conditions in which a teenager helps peers with similar problems. For example, a teenage girl with early puberty and increased sex drive. She is asked to imagine herself first as a mother who came to a psychologist with her daughter’s problem, and then as the psychologist himself.

Each individual teenager makes his own adjustments to the counseling process. It is essential that the counselor remains open to the adolescent's experience and can allow himself to remain authentic with himself and the adolescent.

Parents of teenagers, just like their children, need psychological support.

Consulting parents is due to their lack of understanding of the changes occurring in a teenager. Parents want to get help for themselves, without seeing the need to help their child and their role in this.

If possible, the consultant needs to convince parents that the basis of their help is not any actions to change the teenager in accordance with their standard, but an open expression of their love for him. However, it is necessary that the teenager has the opportunity not only to receive love, but also to give it.

The consultant also needs to show parents the need and possibility of satisfying their teenager’s need for self-disclosure, since it is not always satisfied in communication with peers.

It is necessary to help parents understand the rights and responsibilities of a teenager and direct their efforts towards developing independence in all major areas of life. This is possible using the “Other People's Stories” method. The consultant tells or reads to parents protocols of conversations with other teenagers who have “similar difficulties”, offers to look at the difficulties through the eyes of these teenagers and discuss possible mistakes their parents.

Conclusion

Adolescence is the most important stage of life, largely determining a person’s subsequent fate.

The most important distinguishing feature of adolescence is the fundamental changes in the sphere of self-awareness, which are of cardinal importance for all subsequent development and formation of the teenager as an individual.

Self-esteem is the central formation of personality. It largely determines the social adaptation of an individual and is a regulator of his behavior and activities.

Another new formation that arises at the end of adolescence is self-determination. The ideas of choosing a life path, one’s value orientations, one’s ideal, one’s friend, one’s profession become the fundamental goals of adolescence.

One of the problems that a teenager faces is such an important process for this age as separation from the family. Separation of a teenager from his family is the most important prerequisite for his subsequent achievement of maturity, independence, and the ability to take responsibility for his life upon himself.

With the entry into puberty, the interest of adolescents in issues of sexual development and the sexual sphere increases sharply.

In this regard, it is customary to talk about the gender identification of adolescents. The process of formation of gender identity in adolescence is often not easy, accompanied by acute feelings of one’s own sexual inadequacy.

The influence of communication with peers on a teenager’s personality plays a decisive role, both in positive and negative aspects. Communication contributes to the successful socialization of a teenager, but can also determine his antisocial behavior. The communication experience acquired in adolescence plays an important role when entering an independent life.

Counseling for adolescents is carried out in accordance with the generally accepted consultation scheme:

Establishing contact with a teenager;

Teenager's request: description of difficulties and desired changes in oneself, specific people, situations;

Diagnostic conversation: searching for the causes of difficulties;

Interpretation: the consultant’s verbal hypothesis about possible reasons difficulties of a teenager;

Reorientation: jointly developing constructive ways to overcome difficulties.

Counseling for adolescents is carried out using the following techniques: “Non-existent animal”, “Drawing of a family”, “Animal family”, “Early memory”.

Parents of teenagers, just like their children, need psychological support. Consulting parents is due to their lack of understanding of the changes occurring in a teenager. If possible, the consultant needs to convince parents that the basis of their help is not any actions to change the teenager in accordance with their standard, but an open expression of their love for him.

Adolescence provides parents with the last opportunity to establish emotional contact with their child. It is necessary for parents to take advantage of this opportunity, otherwise their parenting will lose all meaning and will later become the cause of all sorts of suffering and despair because it is too late to change anything.

Bibliography

1. Dolto F. On the side of the teenager. – St. Petersburg, 1997.

2. Kon I.S. Psychology of high school students. – M., 1982.

3. Mukhina V.S. Age-related psychology. Phenomenology of development, childhood, adolescence. – M., 2004.

4. Spivakovskaya A.S. How to be parents. Psychology of parental love. – M., 1986.

5. Stolyarenko L.D. Psychology. – Rostov n/a: Phoenix, 2000.

6. Khukhlaeva O.V. Fundamentals of psychological counseling and psychological correction. – M.: Publishing house. Center "Academy", 2006.

7. Khukhlaeva O.V. Psychology of a teenager. – M.: Publishing house. Center "Academy", 2005.

Adolescence is called critical (in the broad sense of the word). Statistics show that the number of requests for psychological help associated with this period far exceeds the number of requests associated with other ages (children). The range of requests is sharply expanding: from the problems of first, often unrequited, love and relationships of a conflict nature to the danger of drug addiction and alcoholism, there is also such a phenomenon as suicide of adolescents, boys and girls.

This period of life also stands out from the point of view of the peculiarities of psychological counseling due to the fact that the teenager himself becomes a client for the first time: he can turn to psychological counseling in person, with or without informing his parents about it.

When counseling adolescents, an age-related psychologist-consultant proceeds, among other things, from the psychological normative tasks of age. They are contradictory, and this is important to consider. These tasks usually include:

Separation from parents and gaining true psychological independence.

Professional self-determination (obtaining a profession or choosing a direction for further education).

Overcoming the crisis of identity, role diffusion (self-identification").

A new round of socialization among peers, based on the establishment of deeper emotional relationships.

Gaining adult, mature sexuality, adapting to this new state (finding a friend of the opposite sex).

Attempts to understand one’s purpose, an existential analysis of one’s destiny.

The psychological tasks of a teenager are associated, first of all, with self-determination in three areas: sexual, psychological (intellectual, personal, emotional) and social.

The central new development of early adolescence is self-determination. The main feature of this phenomenon is usually the need of a young man (girl) to take the internal position of an adult, to recognize himself as a member of society, to define himself in the world (to understand himself and his capabilities, his place and purpose in life).

For this age, the search for understanding in communication, constant readiness for contacts, and the need to receive “confirmation” from another are typical.

Accordingly, problems may relate to:

· relationships in a peer group;

· relationships with people of the opposite sex;

· relationships with parents;

· relationships with teachers;

· issues of self-awareness;

· difficulties in learning;

Experience in counseling parents and adolescents shows that if parents calmly bring children under 12 years of age to counseling and they, as a rule, fully answer the psychologist’s questions, then adolescents in a counseling situation, the initiative of which comes from their parents, feel uncomfortable. It is difficult to start a frank conversation with them; the reliability of their performance of psychodiagnostic procedures is at a low level.

As a rule, the parent who contacted the consultation by telephone is invited to the initial appointment. In addition to the typical analysis of the complaint of one parent (locus, self-diagnosis, etc.), it is important whether the second parent will come, whether the teenager himself will come, what they will say about the appeal.

In this regard, several options are possible:

/ option. Both parents and teenager go to counseling. Parents talk about the difficulty of understanding their growing child. Joint family counseling can be done here.

V.V. Stolin and A.A. Bodalev give the following example.

The parents turned to the consultation due to violations of the orders of their 17-year-old son (he comes home late, his friends are registered with the police, he does not want to study, the hospital was diagnosed with schizophrenia). The initial reason for the appeal, which unites the family, is “to remove the diagnosis.” In the confidential atmosphere of counseling, it very quickly gave way to mutual accusations of misunderstanding, disrespect, rejection... Thanks to the well-coordinated work of two psychologists who constantly maintained a friendly atmosphere, family members joined them in a group under the slogan: “It’s okay, we’ll sort it out.” The consultants needed to monitor the equal emotional contributions of each participant to the overall process and, listening empathically to each, translate his words into the “language of feelings” for the others. After mutual settling of scores at the stage of understanding the family myth (“our son is sick”), the “family sculpture” technique was used, where each family member could show others how he sees the situation in the family and see it through the eyes of others. Psychodramatic games with role exchange were also used, allowing one to feel in the place of another person and react to one’s own grievances. As a result of the work, the parents were able to verify that their son was absolutely normal. What they previously called abnormal - aggression, reluctance to communicate - turned out to be a common defensive reaction of a teenage person to parental pressure...

Option 2. The teenager and parents are ready to come, but the main problem is not their relationship, but the teenager’s difficulties outside the family (for example, communicating with friends, teachers, etc.). One teenager is invited to the meeting following the first conversation for counseling and diagnosis. The consultant's tasks are to find out whether the complaints are justified and decide what kind of work is required (for example, a communication group, individual counseling or psychotherapy). Parents can be involved in working in a parallel parent group, or consulted separately from the child.

Option 3. The parent complains that he does not understand the child.

He informs that the child will come, but under a different pretext, for example, supposedly to help in choosing a profession. That is, it is difficult for a parent to honestly tell a teenager why he should consult. There is a loss of trust between parent and child. It is recommended to meet separately with the teenager and the parent, finding out the reasons for the ambivalent feelings towards the child, clarifying the nature of the parent’s dissatisfaction and, gradually gaining the child’s trust, reorienting him to work with the parent. After this, they can be united and conduct joint counseling, teach the basics of conflict resolution, etc.

Option 4. The parent projects only his own problems (fears, etc.) onto the child. Therefore, work with the parent is necessary.

5 option. Complete loss of contact and mutual trust.

The teenager does not go to counseling under any pretext. He perceives his parents and other adults (including the consultant) as persecutors. It is important to understand what lies at the core (perhaps again we should talk, first of all, about the problems of the parent himself - marital dissatisfaction, lack of love for the child, his own self-affirmation, etc.). Consulting can go something like this:

A) the client talks about the “terrible deeds” of the teenager,” blaming him in every possible way. The consultant sympathizes with him;

b) Finally, having spoken, the client asks for advice: “What should I do?” The consultant may answer: “Let’s see, what did you do?” The stage of joint analysis of the parents’ behavior, their goals and methods of achieving an educational effect begins (psychotherapeutic techniques can be used: for example, the Gestalt “empty chair”);

V) at the final stage there is an “opening” of the client’s feelings that arose during the consultation. After several meetings, the client usually becomes aware of some of his own problems, and he begins to look for their causes. At the same time, the relationship with the teenager changes. They become less impulsive and rigid.

Option 6. Without a preliminary conversation, the client comes to the appointment with the teenager. The consultant must quickly assess the situation and choose a course of action.

V.V. Bodalev and A.A. Stolin give 2 examples: A client brings her 15-year-old daughter with her. Entering the office, the psychologist sees that mother and daughter are sitting next to each other, with friendly smiles on their faces. The consultant decides to talk together.

Another mother with her daughter, also 15 years old. It is clear that the girl is wary and has a contemptuous and arrogant expression on her face. The mother cannot find a place for herself, she is ready to explode. The psychologist asks the mother to wait in the corridor and talks first with the daughter and then with the mother. At the same time, the girl’s behavior changes sharply; she did not expect warm participation To myself and I’m ready to come again (Remschmidt, 1994).

The paradoxical technique of “referring” the client can be used: the psychologist declares that he does not intend to work with the teenager. Often in such cases, the teenager becomes interested in counseling.

When working with young men and women, counselors should expect the client to make the decision to seek help. However, for example, in school practice there may be cases when a psychologist acts without waiting for the student to voluntarily contact him. The same is possible in social work.

However, if the psychologist’s interest is genuine and manifests itself in a tactful and not coercive manner, high school students rarely refuse to communicate with a psychologist. Since problems may remain unconscious for a young person, it is necessary to learn to see these problems, feel, and understand them.

In a number of cases, the consultant must provide psychological support that is absent or has taken distorted forms in real life relationships - the consulting psychologist takes on the role of a mediator and helps restore normal connections with the world. In the future, this role is reduced to nothing, transferred to close people, teachers, peers, older comrades.

The consultant can also act as a coach, promoting the development of communication skills, self-regulation techniques, and self-knowledge. At this age, professional consultation is also relevant.

Work with boys and girls should be based on the principles of dialogic communication. A feature of such contact is an equal relationship with the goal of jointly studying a specific psychological situation and jointly resolving it. The effectiveness of counseling at this age is largely due to the psychologist’s ability to stimulate internal dialogue, which is considered as the most important factor in development. It is then necessary to transfer it to an external dialogue.